Our
character’s name is Max. Max wears a Cincinatti Reds baseball cap backwards.
The cap rests on top of Max’s spiked crop-cut. Max wears a grey polo one size
too large and a pair of kaki-pants two sizes too wide. Max is not outspoken,
but has a soft and feminine voice with a tinge of urban masculinity. Max is a
male, born a female.
Our
character reminds me of a poster on the wall in my ninth grade teen leadership class which read “Be
Yourself!” Many hours in this class I stared at this poster wondering what the
implications could have been if we lived in a world where everyone was
unapolligetically themselves. Would this be a desirable world? Would we “coexist”
as simply as a bumper sticker spread across the rear window of your neighbors
Toyota Prius would lead you to believe? Would the driver of the raised Ford
F-350 with the confederate flag gliding through the thick summer air have any
objections to everyone being themselves?
These
questions may seem like rhetoricals, but they are not. Every person we see carries
the wieght of their identity, hopes either outwardly or inwardly to be accepted
by those around them, and is in a constant state of identity reckoning. But
what is most curious about our idenity, as we percieve it to be, is that we
construct it almost entirely.
Generally
speaking, when we shop for clothes, get a haircut, buy a car, buy a house, or choose
a sexual partner, either consiously or subconsiously we choose what we choose
based on an idea of who we are, what use these things are to us, and how we are
portrayed by these things to the others. We are rarely who we actually are. In reality, we construct
ourselves from the bottom up with hopes of finding the perfect accent to how we
feel about ourselves within a given period on the timeline of our lives. Max,
at the age of nineteen, wakes up in the morning, puts on a grey collared shirt
and kaki pants, puts a Cincinatti Reds hat on, and goes about the day. But Max
is not a Cincinatti Reds player, Max is not the grey polo, the kaki pants, the
$120 Jordans, nor is Max a boy. When it is all stripped away, Max, just like
you and I, is just another consious meatball floating through space hoping to
be something to someone or themeselves. Max has an idea of who Max is, but it
is in constant evolution and is not to be taken without a pinch of salt.
Lets
be clear, when it’s said “be yourself,” it is more than what we think of ourselves
and what we choose as material representatives that define us, it is the
content of our character. In a country deeply stricken by the virus of identity
politics, (both right and left wings) it’s hard to know for sure if it is our
beliefs that define our character, or if it is our actions. The “things” we use
to portray who we are, weather it be tattoes, cars, or distinct fashion choices,
act more on our beliefs than our beliefs act on them. The clothes you wear very
minimally alter your character, and I would argue nearly always negatively.
What gender you interpret yourself to be, what sexuality you are, what your
skin color is, how much you love weed, or what sports team you represent are
not representaions of who you are, you are representations for them.
Unfortunately,
as I said before, your character can
be altered by these things. “Power works both in us and through us” as my philosophy
instructor would say. If that is the case, the influences around us are not so
different from the things we use to influence others about ourselves. In this
case, we should all be victim to our surroundings and our notions given to us about
us. But simply existing in an atmosphere, if free-will exists, is not wholly
enough to influence our decisions.
The
danger of identity politics is the claim that our identity, whether it be our
own percieved identity or the identity of our group, is who we are. I would
argue we are much more than our appearance, we are far greater than our
ubringing, and we always have a
choice. If that is the truth, then you
are accountable for who you are. You cannot use your upringing or self-interpretation
as an excuse for your shallow character. Instead of taking people at their word
for who they are, take them at face value. If we take people at face value, we
might see that they value, often narcassistically, representing themselves more
than they value the content of their decisions. If your actions best represent how
you identify yourself, which is often very far from who we are naturally, then
your actions are in peril of being self-serving and shallow. You don’t need clothes,
tattoos, or green hair to be you, you already are you. What defines you is your
impact, your desire for purpose, and how you act on your purpose.
I
heard a quote from Oprah Whinfrey once that said something along the lines of “find
your truth.” It’s a widely propegated idea that we should always be in search
for what is true to us and self-discovery. However, who we are when we are born
is true. What we do and how we are perieved is true. We don’t have to search
for our truth because truth doesn’t need
us. We habitually tell ourselves little white lies about who we truly are, but
we were truly who we are before we had any understanding that we were anything
at all. Stop trying to invent yourself. Stop trying to invent your truth. The one thing we don’t have
to do in life, yet still waste our time trying to do, is find ourselves. Take
your clothes off, shut your mouth, and look in the mirror. That’s who you are.
Accept it, put your clothes back on so we don’t have to see you naked, and go
be great.
“There
is nothing from without a man, that entering into him can defile him: but the
things that come out of him, those are they that defile the man” Mark 7:15
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